something must not be right...how does this keep happening | fiendfyre's Blog

I just dont know what is going on anymore. First, my best friend completely disowns me because of a terrible misunderstanding and still cannot even begin to forgive me..its tearing me apart, I miss her so much. I never would have even started to imagine my life without her. I thought it would be forever...but I guess that was immensely naive...And now, another misunderstanding...how does this keep happening? How can my motives possibly continue to be questioned when they have no reason to be? I have not changed, I am no different...perhaps in that I am much more grateful now, for sure, for the people that I still love...but in no other way..I could never hope to wish anything on these people that I would not on myself, and it pains me to know that they dont believe it anymore..to think that it is worth it to them to throw away our friendship like that over any of this. I have tried to deny that that may truly be the case..I have stayed hopeful for some reason - she really does care, right? but I guess now I need to realize that maybe its just not true..that maybe I really do deserve it somehow...maybe I didnt do enough to show them how I felt while I had the chance